I Shoulda Learned To Play The Guitar

      For a while now, I've been somewhat interested in music made by sampling instead of traditional means. Last night I decided to try and make something off of random songs my foobar gave me, and not allowing myself to record any new material. It's not a work of art, but it was an interesting and enjoyable experience making something in this manner and I learned some new tricks in Cubase.



      For the curious, here's the list of songs I used:

Bowie, David - Letter To Hermione, Rock 'n' Roll With Me
Cash, Johnny - Folsom Prison Blues, Frankie's Man Johnny, Loading Coal, Pie In The Sky
Electric Light Orchestra - Don't Bring Me Down
Imahori, Tsuneo - Blue Funk
Mahavishnu Orchestra - Meeting Of The Spirits
Mitsuda, Yasunori - Fragments of Dreams
The Who - Baba O'Riley
Zappa, Frank - Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Parts I+II

P.S. My rapper name is MCΔT, but I didn't really do any emceeing on the track and Cubase didn't like the Δ, so I put "Delta T" as the artist.

Also, Download Link Here

Sex Bomb?

      I wrote this little ditty a while back, someone asked for it to be uploaded. Tada! It's a story about the greatest hero there ever was.




      Hurray for bedroom recording studio! Oh, here are the lyrics:

Tom Jones
First of his kind and the last of his line
Tom Jones
Savior to man and the lord of the land

He was born a coal-miner's son
In the mystical land of Wales.
Defeated the Kraken and many a dragon.
The subject of many a tale.

But he wasn't content
Confined to the place of his birth
So he hopped in his flying machine
And set off to conquer the Earth

Chorus

He would travel to the land of Tibet
And learn their sacred holy sound
Used its power to overthrow tyrants
And send their empires tumbling down

Became the hero for all mankind
Could've had any girl that he chose
Loved a thousand women, but married none of them
A king destined to rule alone

Chorus

Chorus

Download mp3

All Along The Watch(men)tower

      So last Monday, I got a free pass to see Watchmen for free a few days early. Naturally, I feel I need to blooooooog about this. I'm sure there's enough in depth reviews that I won't go into too much depth, just would like to say a few things. (Some stuff may be spoilerific or just not make sense without knowledge of Watchmen, but if you haven't read the comic by now, seriously why not? I actually bought a physical copy of it, but I read it in for free online first. There are ways you can do this too.)
      First of all, I feel like enjoyment of this movie is probably inversely proportional to how many times you've read the book or how obsessed you are with it in general.
      Yeah, there's a lot of important stuff left out, but this is to be expected in pretty much any movie based off a book. Books are longer than movies. Get over it. Read the damn thing again if it means that much to you. There's only so much to be expected
      There are more fight and sex scenes in the movie than in the book. I have no information to support this, but this is my theory for how things went:

Zack Snyder: "Hey guys, I want to make Watchmen into a movie finally"
Evil Hollywood Moneybags: "You're the 300 guy right? Soooo... this will have lots of violence and some relatively pointless titties right?"
ZS: "But... those aren't in the book"
EHM: "TITTIES AND SLOW MO FIGHTAN"
ZS: "le sigh"

      Now most importantly, Watchmen parodies!
Watchmen Cartoon Intro
PvP Comic Parody
WatchmeX - Wiki about the 90's XTREME comic and other spin-offs
And finally, Alan Moore sabotages the movie

P.S. Almost forgot one more!

Greased Lightning (John Travolta Sucks)

     
      Ahh Hamburger Helper, truly the food of the gods.



      The most annoying part however is getting the grease out.



      Yum! I usually spoon the beef out into a bowl and then wash the pan since I don't have paper towels to quickly soak up the grease. Then I realized what I could use instead.



      FUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEAH BREEEEEEEEEAD



      SOAK THAT SHIT UP



      OM NOM NOM



      Exquisite.

Dirty Deeds

     
      Hooooooly shitting fuckballs! I just cleaned a two foot square of counter-top in my kitchen!



      Is that not the cleanest counter you've ever seen a crappy cell phone picture of in the whole world? (Wow, the grammar in that sentence makes me feel kind of bad about myself). Okay, it's actually not all that amazingly clean, but you should check out the rest of my kitchen.





      Why did I decide this was worthy of posting on the intertron for all to see? I have no idea.

Telephone Line

      This week I had three telephone numbers left for me at work, all from guys. Since I enjoy weird, awkward situations, I decided to text all of them.

1:56 - Hi, this is your waiter from kerbey lane. I am flattered to have had your number left but am unfortunately not interested. Have a nice day!

      Now, the second guy in this story, or Dude2 as I refer to him, was fairly strange to wait on, even before he left me his digits. He and his friend asked if I was "on drugs" because I looked so "peaceful." He then said "whirled peas" several times during his meal. These were his responses to my text:

1:58 - K. Of course you do not know me. I am not as you think. No worries

2:02 - I am more enlighted

2:05 - I am a hippie

2:10 - Are you up?

2:13 - Not interested just a little bit?

2:18 - I am not a bad person

2:52 - Don't mean to bother you

3:13 - Whilred peas

3:14 - Whirled peas

      Remember kids, don't talk to strangers, cause they're only there to do you harm. Don't write in starlight, cause the words may come out real.

Che-Che-Changes

     They say the revolution will not be televised, instead it will apparently take the form long-winded cinema. Bereft of entertainment last night, my friends Jenny, Jacob and I decided to see a movie, eventually settling on part one of the "documentary" on Ernesto "Che Stadium" Guevara. Personally, I was more excited about getting something to eat at the drafthouse.
     Che: Part One - The Fellowship of the Cigar is a landmark piece of cinema, a historic breakthrough in human history itself. Steven Soderbergh employed a crack team of cutting edge physicists to find a means to make a 126 minute film feel twice as long. To be fair, it is very possible that I'm just too pedestrian to appreciate the movie. Also in the interest of fairness, it felt more like three hours, not four.
     Benicio del Toro did do a very good job of portraying the iconic T-shirt design. Almost every scene he seems to exude a certain "could I be any more Che Guevara?" quality. I'm sure it was hard to stop passers by from taking his picture and putting it on posters, buttons and lunchboxes.
     The main beef I have with the film is the one sided portrayal of Ernesto "Goes to Campo" Guevara. I was under the impression that unadulterated admiration for the man was unique to teenage patrons of Hot Topic and that a modern film would paint him with the "violent murderer" brush as well as the "inspirational revolutionary and champion of the people" one.
     
     They don't even explore Che "I'm sick of giving him a nickname" G's reasons for becoming a revolutionary in the first place. Or maybe it's in the second half, Che: Part Two - Bolivian Boogaloo. Or maybe I fell asleep for that part. Whatever. He's an interesting character, I plan on going to the best bookstore in the world and getting something so I can hopefully get a better feel for the guy than what I've gleaned from wikipedia and the movie.
     I guess that kind of turned into a movie review on accident, even though I believe that reviews are refuse. In conclusion, the hamburger with chili I ate during the movie was delicious.